The past two weeks, my life has been so
redundant. Well, has it not been? I should say that my life has been crazily
redundant by being a monster mom. It is so tiring and I am not happy about it. Eversince
mom left from her two-week vacation, I felt like I am way too exhausted to adult again. I had laid out my plans prior to her coming here, that at last, I could have a little time to myself and away from the children. When you are a SAHM and no
help, you will be overwhelmed with it. But no, none of those plans happened
and my mom already left. I was sad and at the same time fine about it for a
week but then, it dawned on me that I really needed a break. I had the chance to do it
but I wasn't able to.
What displeases me most is when the children’s attitude is
getting way out of hand and I am not liking the way I discipline them when it happens because I feel like I loose control of my emotions, wherein I should be the one teaching
them how to manage theirs and here I am... losing it. I am the one doing tantrums and it is not right. But then again, what can I do?
Deal with it.
While I continue to whine about my temporary misery, I think about what others are going through. Some has heavier burdens than I. Some don't even have food on their tables, and we have some and even eat more than five times. Others cannot afford to buy clothes and we are clothed decently. What am I saying is, I am still lucky to have problems and somehow feel like this. It means I am blessed because I am able to assess myself and know that despite the temporary woes every SAHM face, I still have a lot of things to thank for. Waking up everyday and be with my family is more than enough to thank for. My children could be rowdy, but at least, they let me feel that I am their mom and they need me to take care of them. My house could get more messy most of the time, but it reminds me that I have a decent house to live in. Every crumb in the dining table could be more annoying, but it is a great reminder that I am still blessed that we have food on the table.
Oftentimes, our emotions could overpower our minds. That is when we think that everyday is misery and that we are not entitled to a good life. But know that, every complain we make is already a good life. We can never complain on something unless we have it. Don't we?
So there. I may be a grumpy mom most of the time, but I am always and forever thankful for being one. Because if not, I will never realize how lucky I am to be blessed with my beautiful children. I will never realize how lucky I am to have a family that I serve and love everyday.
Let us all hug every mom out there. It is okay to be grumpy sometimes. It is a reminder that you are doing good. It is a reminder to keep going because the very reason why you are frustrated and losing it sometimes are the very reason why you are called--MOM.
